The Loki Dance

creature mother

creature mother
come to nurture
am i hungry
not enough to feed
on your vanity
creature mother
i was kept young
and i was kept ignorant
but i should have looked
i should have been clever
Pandora
and i could have loved you
i could have saved you but
i am a wrecking ball
creature mother
creature mother
do you hear her
rambling as the sea
do you see her
hair as uncertain as waves
it chokes me
creature mother
a yearning for what they're holding
that's not in my arms
creature mother
words grow shadows
throwing words like poisons
over my hands
throwing sparks where the flint
meets darkness
dropping me you me you me you
and if i drown in the silence
you will throw me a voice
creature mother
creature mother
come to nurture
please let me nurture you with my own vanity
i was kept young and
i was kept ignorant but
i should have looked
i should have been clever
Pandora
but I am a creature mother
greet your mother
creature mother

ember box

lights as love
shadowed in a
tinder box
tenderness pours
out like this
waterfall.

do you hear her?
rambling as the sea?
do you see her?
hair as uncertain as waves
it chokes me.

the thoughts are
solidifying carmel
sticking to my idealism
sticking to my concept
of freedom i am caught
sure as being sought

out, it hurts me
in, it cools me wherein
fire flies out
aurora shifts again
impatient for her time
impatient for what is mine
is it right?

i stand here uncovered
vulgar little diamonds of
trust thrust through unseeing eyes
oh- no - i saw you
which is why i could not come.

me and my instruments

Gift of drains

Stark as staring
ask for everything
everything is draining
you can't expect to get
what you give
if it is a gift than
give it not your
expectations as a bow
wrapping up the person
now
you are crying
you are angry
things will always
be a disapointment
walking in the way of
wind even this you
don't find refreshing
nothing is beautiful
enough until it is
perfect absolutely
tailored to your body
expertly
i don't want to hear now
i am not responsible
carry your baggage,
i've got my own.

Am.

what if i was lonely
i was still studying
all the words lined up
in theories blending
philosophy is sex to me

fire flies, draft

fire flies in
orange as sunset
blue as moon me
becoming new oh
wait-not new- why
do we want infant
at this stage? why
do we want virgin
in this play?
i am ever changing
i am eclipsing all
i was before
i am emerging from cocoon
so warm inside bright light
heard a sizzling outside me
and now in me burning out
star inversion blossom
fire flies
super nova

Book List.

Frida, a Biography -
Hood-
His Dark Materials- Phillip Pullman
Waste of Timelessness- Anais Nin
A Woman Speaks- Anais Nin
Incest- Anais Nin
Fire- Anais Nin
American Gods- Neil Gaiman
If Not, Winter- Sappho, translated by Anne Carson
Echo- Francesca lia Block
Wasteland- Francesca lia Block
Violet and Claire- F. L. B.
Dangerous Angels- F. L. B.
Nymph- F. L. B.
The Little Price
Alice in Wonderland
Anne of Green Gables Series- Lucy Maud Mountgomery
Emily series - Lucy maud mountgomery
- Kafka
The Myth of Divided Conciousness-
Beyond Good and Evil- Nietzsche

If Not Winter, Fragments of Sappho

Sappho makes me believe in beauty of simplicity, and how complicated simple is. Sappho makes me breath, Sappho makes me want to be a woman. Sappho makes me feel charged and smiling. Sappho opens worlds for me even in her fragmented state.

the early church destroyed most of Sappho's work. There remains only one complete poem.

Remembrance of Things Past, Marcel Proust

Proust is beautiful.

So much that it hurts.
. So much that I wrote a little song called "For Proust" and that I don't feel I can give a review beautiful enough for him... So. Yes.

Proust, easily surpassing 5 stars.
He's an entire sky scape.

Books, Reviewed.

I love reading books. I've been a book nerd since before I can remember- I have my mother to proove this. I get a lot of ideas and insights from the books I read. Some of these shape songs and some of them don't- but they all help build perspectives.
Here is where I will list books I've read and try to provide little reviews/thoughts/opinions.

How geeky of me.