The Loki Dance

"The Absence of Desire"

he bent to tell me that he's here
that he's come with knives and guns
that he's come for me
the silence
it is deafening and I consider running
but the thing is I'm sure he'll catch me
cause I didn't tie my shoes
he said lay still
it'll be quicker
he said don't say a word
he say this thing is deafening to you
and to me it is silencing
it is silencing my voice
it is silencing my right
it is silencing me
and I turn back and I look at you
as you're walking away from me
my blood, it's in you and
you're in me now I guess
how did it come to this
it began very simple
you said to trust you
and I said I'd rather not
I said I'd rather stay here
you grabbed my hand and forced me then
you said listen dear
I've loved you for a long while
and it's time to make you mine
Yes you said you were going to make
me mine
kind of
you said you were going to make me
yours
and mine what is me
what is me but just something that you
got inside your head that you desire
that you desire it all
and I don't desire anything
I lost desire
I can't feel
I'm numb
what has this thing done to me
I can't cry
I can't scream
I can't tell that
I've got you in me
you, you see
I'd like to remain in fonder memories
you held me there
you said you cared
you left me wondering how did I let this happen
how did I bring this on myself
you walked away in silence
you walked away so loud
your boots thumping thumping on the ground
it was winter
there were thorns that pierced my side
I put some cream on
and I hoped the scars would fade
like my memory
I wanted my memory to forget and
it almost did
by the road my eyes were blinded by the wind
I knew my home was not that far away
but it seemed to be just a dream
just a dream that I couldn't go back to
because dreams are just hopes you have
in the night and in the light they go away
there was no one to protect me there
and I couldn't protect myself I guess
I don't know
maybe I didn't fight
maybe I didn't try hard enough
maybe I should've said no no
but I was shocked into submission
he came up behind me and
he put his hand over my mouth
he said you're gonna like this baby
you're gonna like it well
well I didn't like it one bit
I wanted to run
I wanted to scream but
I couldn't cry
I couldn't scream
I couldn't die
I wanted to
I wanted to say
I said why don't you finish this
finish it
finish this thing that you've started in me
my soul is dead, my soul is no more
why isn't my body listening
why isn't my body going
going into the river
the river was beside me
I could hear the water flow around the ice
and I was like that ice
the world was flowing around me and I was stopped
it's blue today
I looked away
don't want to know
don't want to see
you're in me.

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